Last night that changed. I witnessed something marvelous and historic and despite my blog readers who might not consider voting for Hillary Clinton, there is no denying that history was made. I am not sure why the press doesn’t capture the incredible milestone in more righteous terms – and again, this is less about her politics and more about the fact that the woman who is taking the helm of the Democratic party all the way to the ballot box in November is female. Like me and like you, my little granddaughter.
It takes courage to fight over and over again for what you believe and even more courage to know what you believe in the first place. I was raised to believe that the smartest person in the room, any room, was always male. I was also raised to be demure, soft-spoken, useful, pleasant, and to grow up to be someone’s wife and mother. Those were my aspirations because I thought those were my only options. In my senior year in college, I remember thinking that the rules had changed. Some of us got the memo, but I didn’t. My current physician, for example, is exactly my age, and she headed off to medical school when she graduated from college. I went on an extended camping trip. I learned how to pitch a tent, but I came home and found a job as a secretary.
But, I fought a reasonably good fight—at least for me—as I grew older and less oblivious. It was not hard to pay attention because the world was in turmoil and glorious change was the air we breathed. I marched for women’s rights and joined the National Organization for Women. I heard Gloria Steinman speak; while I truly believed her words were relevant they rang too radical for me. I studied karate and wrote a few articles for a women’s newspaper. I did what I could while remaining demure, soft-spoken, useful and reasonably pleasant. I held up placards and stopped shaving my legs—for a month. I eventually got married and became two young men’s mother. And, I like to think I brought to the kitchen table a woman’s view of the world that rounded out the otherwise male perspective in our house.
I hope Hillary wins the presidency, and I’m going to vote for her. I am voting for her because I think she is the best candidate, the smartest person running for office, and the most prepared. Eight years ago, I voted for her in the primary mostly because she was a woman. I admired Obama but I wanted to cast a vote for a woman more than I wanted him to win. In November, I’m casting my vote for a candidate I believe to be the strongest. That’s strongest, period. What a difference a few years can make in one’s relationship to the world. It’s not hyperbole to say the world has changed too. But that is the constant you can count on: change.
Darling granddaughter, you have every opportunity to become whatever you want to be. It’s not a cliché but today’s truth. Being female naturally is part of what makes you, you. But, while it describes you it doesn’t limit you. Hold your baby brother’s hand and walk on together. You’ll be stronger having and relying on each other. Also, don’t let anyone tell you to be demure. And, remember to wear what you want. I don’t think that even Hillary wakes up in the morning and says, “Great! Another day, another pants suit.”
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. Luckily for you, my sweet granddaughter, you can dance barefoot and in any direction you want. You choose the music. Take my advice and fly.
Love,
Grandma
This one is beyond awesome, Naomi. And I, too, will proudly cast my vote for Hillary, because she is the best qualified despite what all the mean spirited people say about her. If you pay attention to the facts and to all that she has done, you can’t help but know she will be the best person for the job.
Aw, Joanie! What a beautiful first comment of the post to receive. Thank you for writing it. I’ll see you soon! XO
Awesome. Xx
Like you! Awesome aussi!
Delicious!!! Love your writing style! Wish I were your granddaughter!! Lucky lucky her! Yes, indeed, this past week has been intoxicating! We have been riveted to the TV and mesmerized by the sensational speeches. We are “with her!!!” Thanks for your wonderful words!
I wish YOU were MY granddaughter too. Think of the shopping! Oh, I digress, Alice. Thank you for reading and commenting. These next few weeks until November are going to be long ones. Hillary’s got the stuff to hang in there, though. God bless her chutzpah!
I’m with her! And YOU!!
And we are stronger together! Love you, Jules!
Naomi,
You, and your message, both make me smile!
Right with ya!
xox,
Alison
Hey Alison, thanks for reading and for commenting. I feel like we grew up just a few exits away on the highway of life (oh, and of 680). I wish we had known each other then. Think of the trouble we would have gotten into. XO
Oh N… A++++++++ on this on!! Merci!
❌⭕️❌⭕️
Suze, you have officially raised my GPA. Bless you, girl! Thanks for the positive marks and expression of love. Back at ya! See you at the cawfee klatch on Monday morning 😉
Such a great letter! I especially love the Fred and Ginger dance reference. Wasn’t it grand when Obama used it in his DNC speech? You know things are changing for the better when ballroom dance makes it into a political speech. 🙂 You embody all the best human qualities — smart, funny, thoughtful, honest, wise, spirited, warm, kind, loyal, curious — that have shaped you into the (well-accessorized) woman (oh, and wife, mother, grandmother, friend) you are today. Love you!
That Obama! He’s always stealing my best lines! Oh well. He gets the word out and all I do is try and write a few words from my heart. And, yes….say it with dance.
What a beautiful, over-the-top, loving message to my meager week’s thoughts. Thank you, Tor, for your friendship, sisterhood, and therapy-over-coffee. Love you. Go out now and win another first place for team dance!
A very beautiful piece that captures this momentous historical advance that can get a bit lost because of the fight with that Trumpenik.
May your granddaughter understand the changed world that she will live in and take full advantage of the increased possibilities and responsibilities
Thank you, Stu, for your kind and generous comments regarding my letter to my little one. I wish I had received a letter, any letter, from my mother, aunt, grandmother, etc. to hold on to. These thoughts were important for me to share and also to hear aloud as I read them to myself. I hope my granddaughter will one day appreciate my attempts.
Dear Naomi,
I have enjoyed your writing since I ran into you at West End Nursery a few months back & signed up. This letter to your granddaughter was so heartfelt & right on & brought tears to my eyes. Also a big Thank You from Dave & I for turning us on
to Shelley King and her band. We love her! Dave’s suggestion for you is the Stray Birds.
Hope to see you soon,
Cathy
First of all, I love Stray Birds!!!!! And I’m so excited, Cathy, that you’ve been reading my paltry blog and bits…I actually am in email contact with Shelley since I first met her at the Austin airport…I’m going to tell her of your reaction. She will be so happy.
Thank you for taking the time to comment on this week’s post. It means so much when folks respond to my writing as I’m sure you can imagine. Much love and let’s do have belated lunch sometime soon, ok?
love love love….what a treasurable essay
Thank you Jen for your wonderfully tender comment. It means, as you must know, so much to receive it.
This is superb Naomi. I love, love the opening; it captured me immediately and I clicked right through. Like you I was raised to be a good girl, a people pleaser who made nice-nice, thought of others first, and didn’t expect to be anything other than a good wife and mother. Now, in my seventies, I really understand the consequences of how we were brought up. While I could certainly spend time regretting missed opportunities, I’d rather focus on being grateful for living during decades of challenging, mostly positive and prosperous times rather than the future that our grandchildren are now facing. Thanks for sharing. Jan
What a thoughtful, beautifully expressed comment, friend. I loved reading what you wrote and knowing you, I enjoyed it even more. You are such a strong and independent woman who seems to take charge of life with aplomb; funny, I didn’t picture you as a youngster making nice-nice, as you say. That’s the interesting thing with friends we meet as older women. We only know our histories (remember back in the early days of feminism when it was referred to as herstory?) from what we want to share. Being an only child, my childhood memories remain hermetically sealed UNTIL I meet up with my girlfriends from grammar school. Then, there’s no pretending where we all came from and how we were all raised and how we all became the women we are today. As always, Jan, I greatly admire you and thank you for sharing your thoughts about this week’s blogging bits.
An inspirational letter to your granddaughter. I think that you are standing up now and not being demure. Throw off the good girl shackles
As always, Steve, I thank you for taking the time to read what I wrote and for your heartfelt thoughts. Shackles make such appealing jewelry!
You are kind, caring and considerate. Not demure.
Love what you wrote to your granddaughter. She will cherish it!
Oh, Doreen! Thank you for those kind and generous words. Not only was I demure, I was painfully shy. Growing up as a female and an only child with really only my dad to raise me…well, there were characteristics that I picked for myself based a lot on role models of my time. That’s what is so amazing to me not only about this campaign but about the time in which we now live and the ensuing years for my granddaughter’s life. So many options! It’s crazy, scary, and overwhelming. By the way, YOU are such an amazing role model, and I urge anyone reading this to check out the work Doreen does with pinkribbonprogram.com helping breast cancer survivors live their best lives.
Thank you so much Naomi got your blog .
I also wish to be your gran Daughter !
Yes it is time that a female runs for presidency in the States …. . More than 40 years after Golda , Indira , and more recently Margaret and Angela !!
I always felt to be free to dance bare feet , but now I am so afraid about some people on earth who want me to go back , to be just a submissive female !!
Nicole, your comments (as we say in English) ring true! Politically, it seems to me, history has shown us that women will emerge as strong leaders if given the opportunity. As for the personal, we do have more choices it appears but often the actual opportunities to exercise those choices are not as available. It will be fun to watch our grandchildren navigate their world! Still hoping to see you in September!
XO
Nomi – this was a great read! I love hearing your voice in your writing.
I guess, in a way, we’re the lucky ones because we can truly appreciate the difference between then and now. My mom made sure I knew how to sew, iron, and cook in order to prepare me to be a good “wife and mother.” My high school counselor directed me through the secretarial skills curriculum since I wouldn’t be needing higher education. I guess I fooled them, right?
You are such a fooler!!!!! Look at you…I still think of the story you told of working on military aircraft (am I right?) — our first time in Austin, Randi at the wheel, and we were searching for dinner on a hot Austin night! Good times. I miss that time (not the “star” exercise though) and you! Thanks for writing.
What a lucky granddaughter to have you for a grandmother…this was brilliant Naomi…
thank you for articulating how we all feel…or how some of us feel…
can’t wait for your next one
Thank you, Gayle. Speaking of lucky, I feel pretty lucky to have you as a friend! You have been so encouraging and I so appreciate it! Love hearing from you.
Beautifully written!
Thank you so much, Vicki!!!! Thank you for writing another comment. It means the world.